“Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Bullshit Has a Body Count”: How Heathers is the Noir You Never Thought Of--Meredith

Meredith Antley

Film, Noir, and Novel

M. Sinowitz

9 December 2017

“Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Bullshit Has a Body Count”:

How Heathers is the Noir You Never Thought Of

I went to the smallest middle school in the history of the world. You might think I’m being over dramatic, but trust me when I say that I am serious. My class consisted of 8 kids, with a grand total of 21 in the entire school. With a school of this size, and middle school being the most awkward time for me (and just about everyone else), I started getting tormented, teased, and picked on. I was weird and awkward so I was the prime target for everyone and anyone who wanted to get there fix for the stereotypical bullying. However, throughout the harsh comments and relentless mocking, I still wanted to be friends with the girl that harassed me the most. I know, it sounds crazy. Stupid, really. Why would I want to be a part of the same clique that made me want to dropout of school at the age of 11? In my immature mind, I thought that if I made nice with the Queen Bee, then I wouldn’t be the target of her abuse.

She was the worst friend.

            Ever.

It goes without saying that a lot of people have experienced bullying in one form or another. You could have been the bully, the bullied, or maybe you just watched it happen to someone and didn’t think much of it. And that’s fine, not everyone takes action and stands up to the bully, especially not in middle school. I mean, hell, my coping mechanism was to switch schools and forget about the girl that made me change practically everything about myself. From my hair to my clothes, and suppressing my interests, I did everything I could to fit in. When I first watched Michael Lehman’s Heathers, it instantly brought me back to this time in my life when all I wanted to do was to teach my bully a lesson, although I would have never thought to take revenge to the extreme that Veronica Sawyer did.

            Heathers is a 1989 classic movie consisting of dark humor, teenagers, and murder. Our protagonist, Veronica Sawyer, is a part of the most elite friend group in her high school: the Heathers. The group consists of Veronica and three girls all with the name of Heather. This group is unnecessarily cruel to the unpopular kids, and it seems as if Veronica is the only person in the entire school that feels as if what the Heathers do is wrong. She meets a sociopath by the name of J.D. in the lunchroom and she is immediately attracted to him. He, of course, picks up on Veronica’s interest and uses this vulnerability to manipulate her into murdering her enemies at Westerberg High. Since Veronica is able to easily mimic anyone’s handwriting, J.D. convinces her to make suicide notes for each of the murders. Here’s the thing though, she doesn’t realize that J.D. wants to murder each of their victims; she thought they were just pranking them.

Their first victim was Heather Chandler, the leader of the Heathers. When Veronica and Heather go to a college party, Veronica supposedly embarrasses Heather by throwing up after she’s had one too many drinks. Outside of the party, the two get in a huge fight and it ends with Heather threatening her by saying, “Monday morning you’re history” (Heathers). This scene is being retold to us through Veronica’s narration while writing in her diary, and while she’s writing, J.D. sneaks into her window and they sleep together. At the end of the night, J.D. says nonchalantly, “Heather Chandler is one bitch that deserves to die” (Heathers). Thinking that it was a joke, that he didn’t mean it literally, Veronica takes her new boyfriend over to Heather’s house to make her a terrible hangover remedy. Veronica tries to make an innocent drink of orange juice and milk to try and make Heather puke her guts out, while J.D. takes poisonous rust cleaner and pours it into a cup. Mistaking J.D.’s cup for her own, she takes the poison up to Heather and she drinks it. Of course, she is suspicious of Veronica wanting to help her, but after some slight manipulating from the two, she drinks it, smashes into a glass coffee table, and dies. After Veronica realizes what has happened, she and J.D. write the first suicide note to cover up the murder they had just committed.

At first glance, this movie seems like it is nothing more than a twisted comedy, exploring the type of pressure that these teens feel while going through high school, by radically exaggerating the stereotype of what it means to “fit in”, and how it feels if you are the outsider. Todd McCarthy of Variety Magazine claims that Heathers is, “A super-smart black comedy about high school politics and teenage suicide that showcases a host of promising young talents” (Rotten Tomatoes). Like the critics at Variety, most people would claim that Heathers is nothing more than a “black comedy”, but after watching neo-noir movies like Pulp Fiction and even classic noirs like Double Indemnity and The Postman Always Ring Twice, you can see elements of noir found in this film. There are signs of violence and crime, a cynical protagonist, a femme fatale, betrayal, and, of course, a sense of impending doom.   

Similarly to Pulp Fiction, Heathers contains some in-your-face humor that you definitely can’t forget, and they are both considered cult, quotable movies. They both are normalizing murder by dramatizing relatable scenarios where our protagonist reacts in illegal activity. Both protagonists are likable, but in different ways. In Pulp Fiction, the main characters, Jules and Vincent, are likable because of how casual and comedic the pair are, while Veronica is likable because of the way she has no fear towards Heather Chandler. She has a clear sense of right and wrong, and she is making it obvious to the viewer that she does not condone Heather’s behavior. This movie also reminds me of the classic noir films and novels that I have been exposed to that involve the notion of the perfect crime. The idea of the perfect crime comes from the sense that if you are smart enough, you can cheat the system. You can murder your husband and be able to run away with someone else. You can murder him and collect the insurance money. However to get away with it you have to make it look like an accident. In Postman, Cora and Frank made it look like Cora’s husband fell in the tub. In Double Indemnity, they made it look like Phyllis’s husband got thrown off the train. In both of these stories, the femme fatale convinces the protagonists that this would benefit them as much as it would benefit themselves.

In Heathers, our protagonist is a woman. It’s interesting to see a woman as the main character, since in other films and novels of this genre the woman is typically a supporting role. We hardly get to hear their side of the story, of why they committed these crimes. Here, we not only are focused on Veronica, but we also get to hear her narrate her idea of the story as she writes in her diary. Throughout my experience with noir, the main characters have always seemed to be a man, while the woman generally plays the role of the femme fatale. If the protagonist is a woman, does that mean that she is the femme fatale? Can the femme fatale be the main character? In most noirs, the femme fatale uses her sexuality as a tool to lure men and manipulate them into doing whatever she wants. She brings destruction to their life. However, in this movie, I don’t believe that Veronica can be considered a femme fatale. In her mind, her actions are motivated by good, and not by personal gain. At Heather Chandler’s funeral she says in prayer, “I just want my high school to be a better place” (Heathers). In other noirs involving femme fatales or the perfect crime, the femme fatale’s actions are motivated by primarily money or love, while here Veronica claims that she didn’t even realize that they were intending to murder. She confesses this to J.D. and he disclaims her idea of innocence by saying, “Look you believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face” (Heathers). He believes that she chose ignorance instead of admitting what she has done because she is too weak.  In Heathers, it seems as if the roles of the femme fatale and male are reversed.

In this movie, I believe that J.D. fits the role of the femme fatale. Weird, I know, since he is a man, but he shows many characteristics that make me believe that he can be considered a homme fatale. He knows that Veronica is attracted to him, and he uses this weakness to his advantage. He is the driving force of this movie, much like the femme fatales in other noirs. He uses Veronica for his own personal gain. He likes killing the jocks, the popular girls, and anyone who picks on anyone who is defenseless. After the two sleep together is when he plants the idea of murdering Heather in Veronica’s brain. Even the day after the funeral, they plan to give two football jocks a scare because they were spreading a rumor that they had a three way with Veronica. J.D.’s idea of a “scare” is shooting them and then making it look like a double suicide, while Veronica’s idea was to shoot them with blanks.  Near the end of the movie, Veronica fakes her own suicide. J.D. comes into her bedroom window and when he sees her hanging from the ceiling fan, and says, “I can’t believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Of course, I was coming up here to kill you” (Heathers). According to Roger Ebert’s list of The 10 Essential Characteristics of Noir Films, J.D. would fit the criteria of a woman in a classic noir film. Ebert says, “Women who would just as soon kill you as love you.” He then begins to confess his plan of blowing up the entire school and making it look like a mass suicide. It is obvious at this point that J.D. has no real emotional connection to Veronica, other than his need for her to aid him commit these murders. He is imitating what he thinks love is to convince her to help him.
Heathers should be included in the Film, Noir, and Novel curriculum because it’s apart of a neo noir subgenre we have yet to touch on: teen noir. Teen noir is the dark and shadowy aspects of the neo noir and classic noir, but instead of having a hard-boiled detective as the protagonist, it’s a teenager. Movies that fall under the teen noir category include, not only Heathers, but also The Virgin Suicides, Brick, and even Donnie Darko (Teen Noirs). A teen noir essentially overlaps with neo noir, except that its audience is geared towards teenagers. “The noir genre is often associated with dog-tired older detectives and black and white films. These movies with teen protagonists are out to challenge that notion, while still paying tribute to classic noir tropes. The best teen noir movies feature murderous plots, arch narration, and dastardly deeds” (The Very Best Teen Noir Movies). With this idea, Heathers fits perfectly as a teen noir. It has a murderous plot, narration, and dastardly deeds. It’s a new wave in the teen movie, but also a fresh look at noir itself. The Guardian says, “Teen noir takes the tropes of old Forties thrillers: the jaded, hard-bitten detective, the femme fatale, the misunderstood lug, and relocates them to the high school” (Sarah Hughes on Teen Noir). The idea of killing a bully is a romanticized idea in which normal teenagers don’t typically act on.  While neo and classic noir does not necessarily apply to teenagers, putting crime and murder in a high school setting it makes it seem more relatable. By planting all of the noir qualities that we recognize in high school, we are able to identify ourselves in these movies. Are we Veronica Sawyer? Do we want to make high school tolerable? Or are we Heather Chandler? The Jocks? Movies like this compartmentalize high school and point out the flaws in the societal aspect that we all recognize, but tend to ignore. For example, if you attractive or good at sports, all of a sudden it is justifiable to be cruel to people who are considered lame or dorky. Of course many of these aspects tend to be amplified, but the root of each quality holds true to the high school experience. 

By adding a teen noir to the syllabus, it shows that noir is not dead, but that it is just continuously evolving and adapting to audiences. These teenage movies contain noir qualities throughout, but they are diluted through comedic relief. Heathers and Pulp Fiction are considered two of the most quotable movies of all time because of their quick humor and one-liners, but their humor is considered dark, much like their twisted plot lines. These movies aren’t what you may necessarily consider of when you think of a noir. They aren’t some rainy murder mystery anymore, they are students in a high school none of us went to but we can all relate to. I have my own story and memory that comes with watching Heathers. I can name my Heather Chandler, my J.D., and my jocks. Adding Heathers can show students that noir is everywhere, even in movies that we may not realize.